MensHealth.com.ph Web

Guy Wisdom

Manila Vice

By Omar Glenn D. Belo; Photographs by Raymond Veran


You're not new to the many negative effects of vices. From health risks to ruined relationships, stories of the horrors of a habit turned vice are just mouse clicks away. But although there are those that have the urge to quit, only a few succeed despite awareness of such dangers. Hazelden, recognized as the pioneer of the world's most widely used model of care for alcoholism and drug addiction, puts the relapse rate at 50 percent, according to Cass Syyap, MA, a counselor for In Touch Community Services. "Sixty percent recovery and 40 percent relapse is very optimistic," adds Dondi Ayuyao, executive director of New Beginnings Foundation. The road to recovery starts here. "The best way to quit is to learn from those who have done it," says Marlon,* a 10-year bottle-tipper who decided to keep dry three years ago. In the following pages you'll read his and others' accounts of quitting the more common vices we harbor. His advice worked for him, chances are it will work for you, too. That, you can safely bet on without selling or pawning anything.

Break away from Yosi breaks

Notice the evolution of warning labels in cigarette packs. Years ago, these were almost unreadable and located at the side of cigarette packs. They were also worded safely. Today, the labels are more noticeable. Stronger words are also used and are placed in front of the packs. Compare "Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health" to "Smoking kills."

It in so many ways: Cancer of the lungs and other parts of the body, impotence, loss of vision—the list is endless. Still, the number of Filipinos who smoke increases every year. The problem is that the recognition of the health hazards relies solely on the smoker's mind, which is focused on the immediate present and not on long term risks. "I tried to quit three or four times because I could feel nagde-deteriorate na ang katawan ko," says Kevin,* a chain-smoker for five years and counting. "The longest I quit was about three months pero relapse pa din after some time."

Relapse is the toughest opponent of any addict. "It's a make or break situation. You will begin to doubt yourself and say ‘imposible pala talaga,'" says Dr. Regalado. It isn't impossible, but it's so easy for smokers (and others) to see it that way. "There's more social pressure around smokers. You hear a lot of people say ‘yosi muna' na parang it's a way to socialize," says Ayuyao, a recovering alcoholic for 16 years and an ex-smoker for three. He quit alcohol before he stripped himself of his nicotine craving. Smoking, he says, is an even bigger problem than alcoholism despite the numbers. It also aids alcoholics and other dependents to relapse. A recovering addict who continues to smoke is twice as likely to relapse compared to a non-smoker.

Smoking may be the hardest vice to get rid of, but as Ayuyao and a number of ex-smokers attest, it can be done. The popular route is going cold turkey, or dumping the habit in an absolute and abrupt fashion. This is best done under medical supervision to monitor if the body short circuits because of the sudden change. Other strategies include nicotine patches, gums, and the gradual process of cutting down cigarette sticks consumed by the day. The commonality of these methods is that it makes quitting the sticks like a boxing match. You set a goal for the day and you achieve it, you win the first round. It's also important to keep busy. Next thing you know, a year may have passed without you lighting up. Relapse is even countered with this mentality. Sure, you may lose a round or two, but getting up from every slip and winning the fight is what's important.

Note that nothing would work without changing your belief about relapse and ultimately changing how you view yourself. "Relapse is part of the process [of recovery]," says Eos Capistrano, vice president and clinical director of Recovery Circle Foundation. "Part of the treatment is for you to know yourself better to be able to recognize what triggers your addiction. Kasi you need to avoid them when you get back to life on life's terms." Syyap agrees. "You cannot expect na paglabas mo, closed na ang store sa kanto, na walang magbebenta ng yosi sa'yo," he says. Developing a better view of what you want to become is a very effective tool in kicking the butts, and relapse can even help you get there. It's been said that a relapse can make or break you. Choose to turn it as something that pushes you to better yourself.

Lose the booze

Alcohol is a drug. The problem here is that most people don't want to believe that. "My own view is that alcoholism is the biggest problem in our country. It is the most undetected form of addiction," Ayuyao opines. Count the cases of alcohol-related crimes and accidents, and you get a better appreciation of what he means. DUI cases in the Philippines are so numerous that our highways are considered one of the deadliest in the world. The numbers are staggering, but the problem remains largely unnoticed. For one, drinking beer seems to be an accepted national pastime. When comparing the addictive and destructive effects of shabu and alcohol, experts agree they're the same. The warning calls just fall on deaf—and drunk—ears.

It doesn't help that there are families among our midst who believe drinking beer or any other alcohol is much more preferable than smoking and even taking drugs. What isn't said is that an alcoholic's behavior is very similar to that of any other addict. All addicts tend to self-destruct, to lose control of what they prioritize in life. Alcoholics are not exempt to this truth that's apparently, well, not that apparent.

The problem lies clearly on how people view our culture to be: that we are a beer drinking people. One huge factor for this is credited to the media. Representations of Filipino recreation in pop culture often entail people gulping down beer. We see it everywhere—ads, movies, TV—that people drink and that it's okay. What these representations suppress are the bad effects of alcoholism. There's a need to raise the level of awareness regarding such dangers.

Drinking alcohol is fine by all means but you already know it should be done in moderation. A drinking habit without negative consequences like frequent absences, car accidents, and financial woes is simply that—a recreational habit. Some call it occasional drinking. Past that, alcoholism creeps in. Separate habit from abuse by detecting the signs. "Anyone can crave alcohol. But before a party an alcoholic will decide to drink only four bottles and when he gets to the third, he is already thinking four will not be enough," says Ayuyao. Frequent blackouts where you don't remember significant parts of the night are also warning signs. Also, Syyap adds tolerance and withdrawal as the hallmarks between addiction and habit. "There are people na hanggang tatlong beer lang talaga kahit taon nang umiinom and there are people who progress from three bottles to one case. That's tolerance," he explains. "Withdrawal is when hindi ka nakakainom and you experience irritability, difficulty in concentrating, and other similar symptoms."

 

Fortunately, we now witness some changes in the media. Liver supplement ads already tell you what alcoholism's top target is, and that liver cancer might not be far behind when you're an alcoholic. But here's what you don't know. In the Philippines, liver cancer is the deadliest of all cancers with 500,000 new cases every year. Most patients' ages range from 40-50 years old and the median survival time is three months, according to Antonio Villalon, MD. You may survive three months but the chances that you get to live five years after that is at 5.8 percent. A UK study estimated that alcoholism takes 15 years off your productive life. Alcoholism, though, is not the sole cause of liver cancer. It is not even the biggest factor, but Dr. Villalon's study reports that alcoholism causes 10-20 percent of liver cancer cases—about 50,000-100,000 cases each year. Check your family history as well. You put yourself at a higher risk if there's a genetic predisposition of liver cancer and alcoholism.

Relapse is also an alcoholic's burden, especially considering how easy it is to pick up a drink here. To limit this, check what triggers your craving. Each person has a different trigger. The most common are depression and euphoria. It can cover from closing business deals to stressful relationships. "There are so many social pressures to drink. Parties, fiestas, balikbayans—kailangan uminom,” adds Ayuyao. Spot your triggers and change your routine. If in the past you ran to your watering hole when you got into an argument with your father or wife, this time run somewhere else. Like the gym.

Staying sober in this country where one of the top money-making companies is a brewery seems tough, especially when almost everybody says it's okay to down a few bottles every now and then. Problem is, you start on this road and sooner or later you can't step off. Tolerance builds up and a nasty hangover ensues after one hell of a drinking session. You decide to abstain for a few weeks but then the vicious cycle repeats all over again, with more consequences on work and your relationships. From this dependency cycle, a quitter's only choice is to totally abstain in order to be free. You can do this by getting into counseling and support groups. Being in the company of people who know what you go through and expressing your problem are crucial.

Sobriety, once achieved, is not the end-all. Total recovery is. "It's one thing to be clean, it's another to reach a certain level of success in your life. Whatever it is you consider as success, that's your goal,” Syyap says. One of the most important, and proven effective, tools of getting there is being able to give back what you've gained. Considering how tough the road is to full remission, paving the way for other addicts to follow reaps huge benefits. Knowing you've made your 180-degree turn from needing help to giving help boosts self worth sky-high.

A different high brings a worse low

Substance dependents like druggies, smokers, and alcoholics are easier to treat. There are treatment structures already set and there are many programs addressing these problems. But addiction isn't confined to substance abuse. The behavioral addicts are tougher to spot. The most obvious among the lot are the gamblers—and they come from all levels of the social strata. We feel outraged by a gambling president but when the smoke clears, we're back to our own little corner, playing tong-its or poker. Call it petty gambling, but all big things start small. "Sinasabi na sa brain mo na there's nothing wrong with gambling, and that's true unless you continue to gamble despite nagkakagulo na relationships mo and your finances become unmanageable,” Capistrano says.

Take Vernon's case, for instance. He grew up in an environment that's very accommodating to gambling. "My parents played mahjong. Tapos sa Baclaran, bawat kanto may nagsusugal, kahit basketball, papiso-piso,” he says of his introduction to gambling. "I guess that's where it all started, my addiction to Blackjack. Kasi I grew up thinking okay lang mag-gamble. Hindi pala.” His addiction went on for more than five years. To think, Blackjack is the casino game where the odds of the player winning over the house is biggest—49 percent. "This is where easy money really applies,” Vernon says. "Isipin mo, uupo ka lang and walang kahirap-hirap mananalo ka in a matter of hours or minutes.” The lure of easy money reels them in, but it's not the hook.

For gamblers and other impulse–control disorder cases, their addiction is not because of the winnings. Being in the casino, race track, cockpit arena, or even in the living room and experiencing its certain thrills already gives them a high they keep coming back for. "Wala ka ngang pinapasok na substance sa katawan mo, but the common ground is you gain some gratification and you want to have more,” adds Dr. Regalado. "When you lose, gusto mong bawiin, nandun na yung thrill and greed.” You already know the problem with greed—you lose control. Win or lose, there's an intense urge to feel that rush.

Vernon attests to that. For a year, he went to the casino everyday. Notwithstanding the numerous wipeout incidents he's been through, he kept on gambling. And he leaves the casino with either regret or eager anticipation. Regret comes in when he recalls those times he was already up big but he refused to leave. He would end the night losing even more than he put in. After such episodes, he recalls blaming himself for again being there despite how much loss he has gone through with his addiction. On some nights, he went home a winner but immediately after he leaves the table, he admits to already thinking about his strategy for the next day.

Aside from losing touch with the value of hard-earned money and losing self-discipline, strained relationships and skewed values are effects of this type of addiction. "Ayaw na ayaw ko sa sinungaling,” Vernon says. "Sinasabi ko sa staff ko, ‘gawin nyo na kung anong katarantaduhan gusto nyo, wag lang kayo magsinungaling sa akin.' And yet there I was in the casino, lying to my ex-wife that I was working OT.”

Gambling—not just in casinos but even online—is one staging area for other impulse-control disorders, including sex addiction. Not everybody handles sudden floods of money well. Instant riches can drive a person to believe he can buy anything—drugs and sex included. The problem with sex addiction is that it creates a much more complicated web of issues compared to other vices. There's prostitution, coercion, and manipulation of the lives of many other people attached to the addict. This includes your relationship with your family, your wife, and especially your children. This intricate web started with what some may consider petty. They fail to understand that when it comes to vices, nothing is petty.

Around three years ago while he was working out of town, Vernon had a life-altering moment. "I wiped out and I didn't have money anymore, ni piso wala. Inisip ko pagdating ko sa Manila, ano gagawin ko? Mangungutang? That seemed so pathetic for me,” he says. He prayed for an epiphany and it came in the form of a fuel-efficiency race he was set to join. "I was resigned to the fact na hindi ako mananalo kasi I didn't know the terrain unlike yung mga kasama ko dun. But I just came in confident that day. Akala nga ng navigator ko baliw ako kasi I kept on saying ‘Panalo na tayo!'” His record-setting drive stands to this day and he has never gambled since. "You always lose in gambling. That's what you have to accept. Lahat tayo may urges, channel it to more productive activities. Marami naman e,” he suggests. "And don't even dare to try, baka magustuhan mo pa. Maraming masisira.”

Vice versa

We blame a lot of external factors when someone plunges towards addiction. The media, peer pressure, poor family values, the government's lack of political will. All except the person. However, there is a growing view that a lot of our addictions may be traced in the chemical activity in our own brains. Some people who are born with chemical imbalances in the brain—where they lack the reward neurotransmitters known as dopamine—are more prone to be dependent on certain substances or activities that give them the pleasure they so long for. Today, CAT scans and MRIs help professionals detect what triggers an addict's mind. Showing a pathological gambler pictures of mountains and animals reaps no reactions. But when you show pictures of slot machines, there's heavy activity in his brain.

Prevention is better than cure, that's what we always hear. What you can do to prevent being a statistic in the addiction chart is to check your own family background. "If there's a family history of alcoholism, it's proabable there will be alcoholics in the next generations,” says Jay Carcereny, MD, a fellow of consultation-liaison psychiatry. Take your cue from there and you know what to avoid.

When you do bite the habit—hook, line, and sinker—Syyap offers this piece of advice, "There are moments when you develop some clarity regarding your problem, grab that moment or confess to somebody you trust immediately to urge you to get help. Those moments don't come too often.” After treatment, you have to keep to the program. Discipline alone is not going to help you through. So get as much help as you can, as often as you can—be it counseling, or support groups. Just like going to the gym, you have to keep yourself in tip-top shape, inside and outside.

Quitting any vice, behavioral- or substance-induced boils down to where it all started—within you. Addiction being an incurable disease, there is no instant cure or instant pill you can take and then the addiction is gone thereafter. Shifting your thinking from finding a cure to being in perpetual recovery is the greatest tool you can have. Relapse happens and it can happen multiple times, but the important thing is how you get up after every slip. Make no mistake about it, recovery takes a lifetime. Ever wondered why there are only recovering addicts and no recovered and cured addicts? "We can only say that a person is a recovered addict if he remains clean hanggang sa paglibing sa kanya,” says Capistrano. She lays it down perfectly. Vices aren't harmless at all. Vice, by the word itself, is the opposite of virtue. They reel you in to a lifetime struggle to stay clean, and all dependents lay to rest fighting. Consider this before you buy your next pack, drink and drive after your ninth beer, or bet a your chips.

 

Advertisement