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Guy Wisdom

Winning against loss

By Carol H. Pajaron; Photographs by Charles Buenconsejo


When Cecilia Lagman first heard the news of agriculturist Jonas Burgos's disappearance, she tried to call his mother, Edith. "Her mother was close to me. We were teachers in the same school, and she was a good friend," she says. "I wanted to tell her to be strong."

Strength of character is our most available coping mechanism against posttraumatic stress. Otherwise we become prone to psychological disorders, according to Gregory Diokno Jr., MD, a psychiatrist at the St. Luke's Medical Center and the University of the Philippines (UP) Health Service. Dr. Diokno also treats patients referred by the nongovernmental group Families of Victims of Involuntary Disappearances (FIND).

"Many also experience physical symptoms, like headaches, stomach pain, backaches. Because Filipinos are basically somatizers—we do not express ourselves as, 'I am depressed,'" he explains. "We'd always say, 'I can't sleep,' 'Madalas sumakit ang likod ko,' or 'Parang madalas sumakit ang mga kalamnan ko.' These are the depressive equivalent."

Dr. Diokno's had a busy year. Under president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo's administration, FIND has recorded 183 cases since December 2006. Ninety-percent of the missing were men. Half have surfaced alive either in detention or their respective homes. Thirty percent remain missing while 9 percent were found dead.

Collectively called 'desaparecidos,' Spanish for 'disappeared people,' the term originally referred to victims of state terrorism in Latin America in the 1970s and 1980s. Through the army's infamous Operation Condor in Chile and Argentina, those deemed as 'enemies of the state' were first kidnapped then illegally detained, tortured, and finally executed.

Since the late president Ferdinand Marcos's dictatorship, the Philippines is among several countries where enforced disappearances still persist and remain unsolved. Based on figures from FIND, 53 percent of the suspected perpetrators as reported by the victims' families and other sources, were affiliated with the military.

The families of the lost are equal casualties of these tragedies—suffering from acute to posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and minor to major depressive disorder. "The diagnosis really depends on the symptoms and duration. But our parameter whether to admit a patient or not is, if any area of functioning is affected. Be it in the area of occupational, social, intellectual or interpersonal functioning," says Dr. Diokno. "Then these are already cues to intervene through therapy."

Blackouts, flashbacks, depression, anxiety, insomnia, irritability, and hypervigilance for six months are just some of the features of PTSD. In a 2006 study, researchers in Switzerland found that the syndrome significantly raises the levels of a key blood-clotting agent, promoting arteriosclerosis and, by extension, increasing the risk of heart disease. Traumatic stress has also been linked to immune system, gut, and muscle disorders, such as hemorrhaging and ulcers.

On the other hand, a major depressive disorder develops after more than two years of chronic low-grade depression. "Anxiety and depression are a result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. This chemical imbalance in the brain can be triggered by psychological factors and social events, like a loss," says Dr. Diokno. Studies point to a shortage of the brain chemicals serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine, the neurotrans-mitters that ferry messages between nerve cells.

Although Dr. Diokno cites that 90 to 95 percent among FIND's referrals undergo treatment, not everyone who experiences a traumatic event merits a clinical diagnosis, of course. "You really can't say. It depends on the person's inherent strengths and weaknesses," he says. "There are those who would come to you very optimistic, but there are also those in an almost vegetative state. They'd feel so helpless and hopeless that I'd even recommend hospitalization. Somebody who has gone through a lot of hardships and overcome these is able to adjust more. But those who are not used to trauma or violence would have more severe symptoms."

Nilda Lagman-Sevilla, Hermon's sister and co-chairperson of FIND, was a 30-year-old university professor when her Kuya Mon disappeared. At the time, Hermon was the legal counsel to several militant unions and workers that defied Marcos's strike ban, most notably those at the La Tondeña Distillers Inc. On May 17, 1977 he and labor leader Victor Reyes missed a scheduled meeting with other lawyers. Three days later, a phone call at the Lagmans' home confirmed their disappearance. It was Cecilia who answered and soon after replacing the receiver, she was crying hysterically on the floor for her son. "The memory has not left me. Whenever I remember, it's so painful," she says. "Only a mother would understand."

Lagman-Sevilla was close to Hermon when they were college students. She recalls his kindness even then was instinctively old-school—helping her cram for a political science paper, buying her extra tickets to concerts, even carrying her things in their tedious commute from Caloocan city to the UP Diliman. "Nung kawawala pa lang ni Hermon, I'd always remember him when I wouldn't be busy. I have to admit I would always cry," she says. "We were in pain and anguish but at the same time, we were also raging." Aware of torture tactics in political detention, the Lagmans couldn't help but imagine Hermon's ordeal. "Until now, my mother would say that maybe they had even asked him to dig his own grave," says Lagman-Sevilla. "[So] It's also a form of torture on our part. We always assert that the victims are not only the missing persons but also the family. There's no closure. There's no peace of mind."Realizing this, the Lagmans became cofounders of FIND with nine other families in 1985. As the organization drew more funding, rehabilitation and therapy programs were later initiated for the victims' families. Dr. Diokno has been among its volunteers for two years. "There's concern for the immediate reaction to the loss, or the long-term effect of the loss," he says. Immediate intervention through stress debriefing is thus recommended, "to lessen the chance of develop-ing clinical symptoms or a clinical diagnosis." elyn Bon, 16 was just eight months in her mother Loida's womb when her father Remigio, one of the leaders of the Alyansa ng Manggagawa ng Pasig disappeared in 1989. Considered as one of the breakthrough cases of FIND, his remains were exhumed six years later by Jerome Baylen, anthropology and sociology professor at UP Diliman, from a cemetery in Barangay Ueg, Isabela.

"Ako po kasi, iyakin talaga. Lalo na noong nakita na si Papa, doon na talaga bumuhos…" she says, again wiping off tears mid-sentence, "…kasi sa picture ko lang po siya nakita."

At the time of Remigio's disappearance, Loida had to wait for a couple of days before breaking the news to her other children. "Halos himatayin ako dahil hindi ko nga matanggap ang nangyari," she says. "Unang-una inisip ko ang mga anak ko. Paano na sila lalaki na walang tatay? Ang bigat ng dibdib ko noon."
Loy Maguigad, a paracounselor and welfare and rehabilitation staff member at FIND, shares the range of emotional distress among the family members. "Some just can't stop crying. Yung iba takot na takot, o nagagalit," she says. "But it's a big step for them to be able to tell their stories. Kung hindi, mas lalong masakit."

Patients undergo stress debriefing with Dr. Diokno, usually as a group process. "They're made to feel that they're not alone. More importantly, they identify their feelings and determine what is normal and what is not," he says. "And at the end, what can be done by that person to overcome the stress. So different types of psychotherapy are implemented."

Generally referred to as "talk therapy," these include supportive, behavioral-cognitive, and insight psychotherapy, among others. Dr. Diokno explains these as essentially "working with the mind and emotions." He recommends at least six months of six psychonanalytic sessions, called the '50-minute hour.' "Along with medication, each type [of psychotherapy] is applied depending on the psychological sophistication of the person, the capacity of the individual to handle stress, the level of intelligence," he says. "Because psychotherapy can also be stressful for the individual. There are several factors to consider."

Aside from psychotherapy, Maguigad encourages participation in FIND's activities, from photo exhibits and forums to lobbying for the passage of the Anti-Enforced Disappearance Bill. "Aside from their positive involvement in this advocacy, they're able to feel that they're not alone in this situation," she says.

Interaction also assures a support system both within and outside the family. "Family members and friends can do a lot by giving emotional and moral support," says Dr. Diokno. According to him, the patient benefits from a sounding board sans judgment, and empathy over sympathy. This means advising against staying in bed to sulk, and appreciating how tough it is to carry on while providing that bit of push. Constant physical motion from regular activity or exercise is also a natural way to increase serotonin, the happy chemical in the brain. "We say, 'I know it's very difficult for you because you don't have the energy to do things but as much as possible, try to be busy,'" he adds.

The role of the mother is very important in keeping the family together," says Cecilia, who quickly got off their living room floor after that fateful phone call to join her oldest son, Edcel in scouring every military camp to look for Hermon.

The support of family and friends are your practical alternative to any psychology. "One trait of the Lagman family is strength of character," says Lagman-Sevilla. "Palagi nga sinasabi ni Popoy kapag nagkakaproblema, 'Di ba matatapang tayo at matatatag?' I had liked to believe him."

The Bons also fed off each other's resilience to get over missing the head of the household. Loida and her two older children took on odd jobs, from working at a factory to cleaning passenger jeepneys, and eyed scholarship opportunities to finance their schooling. "Ako na lang ang tumayong nanay at tatay para sa kanila," she says. "Kinailangan kong kumilos."

The kids appeared to inherit their mother's determination. "Maaga po akong naging independent e kasi si Mama nag-work. Inisip ko na lang na kaya wala si Mama, para rin sa amin so kailangan ko rin maging strong kasi strong yung Mama ko," says Relyn, who graduated at the top of her high school class, and like their eldest sister, is studying to become a teacher. "Yung trust na binibigay niya, kailangang ibalik namin." She also joined the Samahan ng mga Anak ng mga Desaparecidos (SAD), founded in 1990 by FIND to conduct rehabilitation sessions and family conferences.

"The group helps in their recovery," says Maguigad. "They also have activities like theater and art that express their sentiments about their missing relative."

According to Dr. Diokno, coping mechanisms can take on different forms. Activities that allow for socialization are among them, "where they can talk about their anger, making sure they do not hurt themselves or hurt other people." as solid," JL says of the Burgos family, almost two months after their brother Jonas was abducted on April 28, 2007 at the Hapag Kainan restaurant in Quezon city. The Toyota Revo's license plate used in the kidnapping was traced to another impounded vehicle at the Armed Forces of the Philippines' 56th Infantry Battalion in Norzagaray, Bulacan. "Ngayon ko lang nakita na ganito ka-solid yung family, except noong panahon na nahuli ang aming ama."

Their father, the late Joe Burgos published the first anti-dictatorship newspaper, We Forum during Martial Law. He was imprisoned for a year with the rest of the editors and staff in 1982 after the Metropolitan Command raided their office. "Ngayon mas solid kami kasi well, una wala rin kaming choice," admits JL. "Nabago yung lifestyle namin. Hindi na kami nakakapag-trabaho kasi ang priority ngayon ay hanapin si Kuya Jay (Jonas)."

Jonas, a 37-year-old agriculture graduate, runs the Burgoses' farm in Bulacan while training members of the Alyansa ng mga Magbubukid sa Bulacan in technology and organic farming practices. "Ang kapatid ko naniniwala na priority ang pagtulong sa farmers—galing yan sa tatay namin," JL says of his brother. "Dahil naniniwala kami na majority ng Pilipino ay farmers, so sila ang kailangan tulungan."

He was expected at the family meeting in their Quezon city home when he disappeared. His mother, Edith called him the following day. "He answered, but he was very weak. Jay talks like his Daddy, emphatic, malakas ang boses. So that was very strange," she says. "So nung hindi na siya sumasagot sa mga text, we thought there must be something wrong." There have been no further developments to the Burgos case since.

According to Dr. Diokno, individual will is significant to surviving grief; thus to avert emotionally charged thoughts, he recommends mind exercises. "From something as simple as breathing, stopping and settling down," he says, "or as challenging as trying to spell the alphabet in reverse, or serial subtraction." Part of cognitive therapy, the mental workout can take your mind off a traumatic experience.

Coping is also a collective effort for these families. JL says they're each other's support group, "Kapag nakikita na medyo weak ang isa, tutulungan ng family." Both he and Edith, while recognizing the emotional toll from losing a loved one, are hellbent in finding Jonas. They are banking on faith, for one. "Hindi naman kasi ako iyakin e. Halata ba?" Edith says with a laugh. "My feeling is, the Lord who is so merciful loves him more than I love him. He will take care of him more than I can." She says that her dogged belief must be infectious, "Siguro iniisip din ng mga anak ko, 'Kung si Mommy nga e, hindi nagbre-breakdown.'"

There's also the more tangible drive spurned by the demand for justice among the desaparecidos' kin. Now the Burgoses are overwhelmed by offers of help from different sources. After all, the family's private grief has magnified a country's bigger fight. "Dun kami humuhugot ng lakas. Noong nakilala rin namin ang ibang families ng victims of enforced disappearance, nagkaroon sila ng hope. Positive yun dahil umingay ang issue at baka yung case ni Jonas ang mag-push sa legislators natin na magkaroon na ng Anti-Enforced Disappearance Bill," says JL. "Nakakalakas ng spirit ang mga ganung bagay."

The Commission of Human Rights has openly supported the bill, stressing a distinction from the anti-kidnapping law, given its political context. Other key provisions would also regard enforced disappearance as a continuing offense and excluded from statute of limitation.

"We should be inspired by what our disappeared kin have done," says Sevilla-Lagman. "I'm at hope…I must conquer my fear because I have to help sustain the struggle that my brother fought for."

Edith remembers how the Burgos kids were their father's biggest fans. Asked then if they'd rather have an "easy life," one of them at age seven had answered, 'Okay lang, Dad. Kahit hirap tayo, basta maipagmalaki ka namin pag matanda na kami.' [But] Even then they knew how important their Dad's work was," she says. Now Edith owes as much to her children's wisdom; loss doesn't make for an 'easy life' but she is just as proud of Jonas.

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