Guy Wisdom
DAD SECRET 7
Once in a while, he needs to act like a kid again
My family always had dinner together. Whatever happened, we would always sit down and eat at the same time. It was a tradition. And with that there is also the tradition of always making jokes about my dad's age.
We would begin by saying that my dad was Rizal's best friend or that he was the first Filipino to greet Magellan. Sometimes we even went so far as to kid that when there were still land bridges, he tolled the men passing through from every part of Asia.
Then he would add his own jokes. Sometimes it was funny and sometimes it wasn't, but we'd laugh all the same. After all, he's just joining the fun, even if he was indeed old.
Tim, 27, ACCOUNTANT
DAD SECRET 8
He's a different guy at work
My dad runs a business that has been held by my family for a very long time. The business is doing okay and we're always trying to make it better. But sometimes whenever we're in the office, my dad is all official—what he says goes. I mean, it is a family business, but it's still business. Nothing personal, really.
Rick, 23, SALES MANAGER
DAD SECRET 9
He's not as tough as he looks
A few years back, when the world seemed to fall apart around us, my dad started smoking again. We knew about it, but he always tried not to show us that he smoked, I think he feels that it would be setting a wrong example. But he still did it. Maybe it was the stress of all those problems. Financially, we were hurting (business wasn't going well). And family-wise, my mom was a bit estranged from us, living abroad working.
I guess he couldn't handle all that and keeping it all in. He got sick eventually. But we never really talked about the smoking problem. At least now he's stopped. Maybe because we started talking to him about our problems so he has somebody to share his with.
Anthony, 28, TEACHER
I have never seen my father look so helpless and defeated as when his old man passed away. After all, what could you do if thousands of miles separated you? It had been two years since they were able to see each other, and all conversations after that were done over the telephone.
He finally broke down when his brothers abroad called him with news of my grandfather's death. He took it pretty hard. We consoled him in the only way we know how: assurance that lolo Ramon lived 86 years in the best manner possible.
Myron, 23, WRITER
DAD SECRET 10
He can still appreciate a beautiful woman
When my firstborn–a son–arrived, my dad drove my mom to our house to meet him. They arrived late one chilly afternoon, and we gathered in the living room to fuss. My wife and the new granny were taking turns holding my firstborn, talking to him, and fixating on him the way women do.
At one point I noticed my dad's gaze was carrying past his grandson, through the window and over to the apartment building across the street. And there, in a second floor apartment, was one of the most amazing, gorgeous, sweaty woman I've ever seen, doing some kind of aerobic dance routine in front of the TV set. My dad couldn't keep his eyes off her. Honest to God, it had never occurred to me that he was a horny bastard, just like me!
When I look back on that family dynamic–the mothers cooing over the newborn male, the fathers quietly lusting after the fertile babe–I realize that we're all just playing out our roles in the big reproductive machine that keeps our species going. Men look and crave, and women attract glances and rings and sperm. The system relies on each of us doing our part, and it works.
Pete, 47, NOVELIST
DAD SECRET 11
Sometimes he needs you to be the bigger man
I remember one time me and Dad fought. I now have forgotten why, but I clearly remembered that I was telling him something and he wouldn't believe me. He recounted the many instances when he felt that I wasn't being truthful. I asked him if he trusted me. He said he didn't. I was pissed, so angry that I left, staying at a friend's house just to cool off. I was telling the truth but he wouldn't take my word.
Night came, I went home. Nothing changed—I knew he wouldn't give up because he's used to always being right. Pride and stubbornness ran in the family. But I swallowed mine and came up to him and said sorry.
We're okay after that, and though he's still stubborn most of the time, I just let it pass.
Martin, 24, MUSICIAN
DAD SECRET 12
Once the i's are dotted, he's out of here
My dad once asked, while he was fighting tuberculosis, what I would do if it turned out that he also had cancer. My grandfather, having died of the disease, made him wary and he wanted to know what I would do.
We were sitting there along the hospital corridor discussing what I planned, with him giving his thoughts. We had this conversation so many times already that I already knew what to say to satisfy him. But I felt that I needed to tell him still so he wouldn't be worried. And at the end of the talk, he looked at me and smiled. That's it.
No cancer was found, thank goodness. But either way, I know he thinks it would be sort of okay even if there was.
Jonah, 25, STUDENT
DAD SECRET 13
There's a meaning behind his madness
Whenever my dad and I argue, debate over something, or just plain talk about life in general, he would often give examples of situations to illustrate what he meant. Although I am not daft, and I could understand what he was saying just fine, he still gave hypothetical stories. I thought then that he could have just said them plainly.
Sometimes when I talk to my wife about things, I'd realize I've inherited his habit. I would go to a lengthy analogy of what I was pointing out. And wonder of wonders, I guess it does get the message across and sometimes much better than just stating it.
John, 26, ARTIST
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Men's Health Philippines - June 2007 Issue
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