2. BAG AND BURN.
Remove all photos of her and delete your computer wallpaper of the two of you in Cancún. There are other girls who look great in bikinis. (Google, for instance, Adriana Lima. But not obsessively.) Go all CSI on her, bagging every bit of evidence of her existence. Toss it or burn it. If there's anything you need to return to your ex, mail it or ask a mutual friend to deliver it. David, 25, a golf professional in Florida, says he took everything—the baseball hat she wore when she came over, the CD by the Album Leaf they'd always listened to—to Goodwill. "Leaving stuff in your closet will only put off the inevitable reminiscing session," he says, "or, worse, discovery by your next girlfriend."
3. STOP BEING FRIENDS.
Women frequently claim they want to be "friends— really good friends" after they dump you. Screw that. Any woman who took a long look at you and decided she'd try her luck elsewhere doesn't deserve to be your friend anymore. Your friendship has been taken off the menu of great things in life that she gets to enjoy. If she presses the issue, just let her know that you're not currently taking applications for the position of friend but will keep her résumé in mind should there be an opening in the future. You can consider friendship after 60 days has elapsed.
4. REALIZE SHE'S NOT HIDING AT THE BOTTOM OF THAT DEWAR'S AND SODA.
Nothing takes the sting out of a battered heart like booze. But the morning after, the breakup pain is back, and has brought a friend: the hangover. Don't make a habit of putting things into your body that will make you a pathetic, sad fatty or get you into a fistfight with a tree. Make plans to meet a friend at the gym or on the basketball court on weekend mornings.
5. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH WOMEN.
Maybe you think of yourself as the lone wolf, and that's cool, but a breakup buddy helps. Especially a hot breakup buddy. Enlist a female friend or three. "After I broke up, I hung out with girls I knew," says Michael, 34, an author. "They were more interested in hearing about the breakup than my guy friends, and they gave me a lot of attention. The best part, though, was being seen around town with three really hot women, which helped my stock. Word got back to my ex, and I know it made her jealous." Having a breakup buddy means there's someone to call when you're close to drunk-dialing the ex, and someone to make sure you don't fall off the face of the Earth.
6. MAINTAIN MOMENTUM.
Stay in motion, kid. Walk it off. This is an awesome time for reevaluating and rebuilding, so find new things to do with your time. Pizza is not an activity, nor is crying. Join a gym, or at least a game of pickup basketball, or see every movie at the cineplex in one weekend. Make plans with your friends that will force you to leave your home at least three times a week.
"Right after we broke up, I launched a Web site to take my mind off things," says Tim, 24, a designer in Vancouver. "It's now a successful part-time business."
7. GET BACK ON THE HORSE.
You've heard this one, right? Here's a bonus: "The second girl I hooked up with after my breakup had the same name as my ex," says Brian. "Inputting her into my phone as ‘Nuevo Becca' was pretty solid. Not to mention the healing benefits of new sex, which is a whole lot better than ‘Let's save this relationship' sex."
Lastly, don't talk to the horse about your ex.
Greg Behrendt is a comedian and the coauthor of It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken and He's Just Not That Into You.
» Sex archive
Men's Health Philippines - January 2006 Issue
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"When I look up, he'd better be out of here."
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