Sex
WHAT SHE WANTS
Women like to be pursued, but in the land of one-night stands, most of us prefer to play the seductress. It's our way of turning the stereoty-pical one-nighter paradigm on its head—taking "advantage" of the man for a change.
Let her lead: Stow your witty pickup line. You're better off with something straightforward, like "Hi, I'm Jeff." "A hookup is the one time a girl will judge a guy 95 percent by his looks," says Katie. But relax, that doesn't have to mean flawless looks: "A great smile and muscular shoulders can be very persuasive." Work your warm vibe and back it up with stylish (but not too slick) clothes, direct eye contact, and a clean, manly scent. Linger in her vicinity, respond when she flirts. But, for the first few stages, let her take the lead.
WHAT YOU WANT
If you want to call yourself a gentleman—and ward off any chance that your hookup will start phoning you 50 times a day—make this clear: You're not looking for a girlfriend. "All a guy has to do is make it clear that he's far too busy for a relationship these days, or that he loves being single," says Sophie. "That way he eliminates any idea a girl might have that their one night of fun will lead to anything more substantial." No doubt the woman is perfectly aware of this, but it's better to be clear than to be called a bastard.
Manage expectations: Your declaration must happen long before your pants hit the floor. Otherwise, she might fall for you somewhere between the first kiss and the final thrust.
WHEN YOU KNOW
How can you tell if the game is on? It's when she suggests—or agrees with your suggestion—that you go to another bar (that quieter one down the road). Here's how the woman's mind is working, as explained by Katie: "It brings you one step closer to going home together, but provides a little buffer that makes the whole thing feel more in control."
Shut up and kiss her: Once you've reached the new, preferably dark and loungey locale, the first kiss is only a drink away. "I love it when a guy leans very close to me and pauses," says Sophie. "Then we both come in for the kiss." Thus begins a long and hot public display of affection, after which one of you will ask if you should go someplace private.
HOW TO BEHAVE (OR NOT)
Your best bet is to go to her place, not yours. She'll be more comfortable, and you'll have the option of splitting before dawn. Small talk is a buzz kill; compliments are okay. Tell her that she's beautiful and incredibly sexy, then let the kissing and undressing begin—as in the second you walk through the door. You're both in this for the sex, so make it adventurous.
Just do it: Use a condom, of course, and no spanking, backdoor entry, kinky toys, or uncomfortable positions (unless she makes a specific request). Go with the standard stuff, plus plenty of enthusiastic squeezing, licking, sucking, stroking, rubbing, moaning, and maybe even a little pinching.
WHEN TO LEAVE
Ask her straight out whether she wants you to stay the night or make yourself scarce.
Tell the truth: Tell her you had a great time. Don't say, "I'll call you," or, "Maybe we can see each other again," if it isn't true. And if you want to earn a spot on her booty-call list—or be the type of one-night wonder she might recommend to a friend—send her a single e-mail the next day saying that last night was amazing and that she should feel free to contact you if she ever wants to "do it" again.
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Men's Health Philippines - November 2005 Issue
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